Headcanons…

that are actually canon about Mallory’s fam crew.

Daniele:

• Likes to think he can cook but actually burns everything nine times out of ten. Only thing he can actually always make without ruining it is birthday cake for some reason.
• Fashion guy who thinks wearing fishnets under jeans is a fashion crime. Mallory disagrees.
• Buys random shit, never uses it and then wonders why the budget is so low.
• Highkey tries to match everyone with someone, much to their disgust.

Raine:

• King of the emotionless face and voice.
• Mallory’s “camera-man”, teaboy and occasional make-out partner when they’re both bored.
• Says he’s not a cuddly person but he is. Mallory knows.
• Only one Mallory likes most of the time.

Alois:

• Mother Hen with a loud voice and long hair. Don’t tell him, he’s in denial.
• Thinks Mallory is hot cute because she is always herself. Also thinks Raine is cute for some reason.
• Disaster bi.
• Spends a ton on shampoo but also steals Mallory’s.

Leander:

• “Ladies man” *insert gagging sound effects from Mallory here*
• Easily made irritated, usually by Mallory and Raine “borrowing” his blood to summon demons.
• Was once pushed off a bridge by Mallory. Fortunately, or unfortunately if you’re Mallory, it wasn’t a very high bridge and the water wasn’t that deep.
• Says he’s 100% straight but he isn’t.

Connolly:

• Trash™, according to Mallory. If anyone else outside of the fam crew says that, they die. (you can feel the love in this family can’t you?)
• Bad with women, hasn’t had a date in years. He also has never had sex according to Mallory.
• So devoted to Boss that Daniele suspects he might be in love with him.
• If Boss is gonna see it, it has to be perfect. Mallory messes it up of spite.

“Boss”:

• Real name is Akirou. He’s a kitsune.
• Drinks a lot and doesn’t like when people steal his alcohol. He spent money on that, you know!
• Acts flirty with everyone by draping himself on them. The shorter ones (Mallory, Raine and Leander) are subjected to it more.
• Sleeps a lot when he doesn’t have anything important to do.

@writer-grandma @srazar @esoteric-eclectic-eccentric and @alexis-bellissima